Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Meaning of Meaning..


You know why I created this world, Radhe? 

It was the day, I thought, I had lost you. In this wide universe with no ending, no beginning. I thought I'd lost you. And there came feelings forth from me. Pain. Suffering. Fluttering. Joy. Hope. And pain, again.

I couldn't find you in the darkness. So, I created the sun. Stars were too afar.

I couldn't map the direction. So, I created the center within me.

I couldn't feel that fragrance that's you. So, I created the air.

The sweet nectar. I created the lakes and the oceans.

Oh, I created this world, but to entice you.

For I thought, one day.. you'll be curious and step in. And in that moment, I shall draw you in my arms.

And I did. 

You were called Radha. I, your Krishna.

In the dense forests, we danced, where even the sun couldn't reach us. 

Beside the very lake, we were lost in trance, but the waters couldn't taste us.

The world watched us tread it. And yet, they couldn't match the pace.

You and me Radha. All that was, was all that there was.

One day, though, someone woke me up from your trance.

I felt so mad, I destroyed half the men there. 

They told me they loved me too. And kept reminding of a promise that I had made them. I didn't remember any. How could I? All I could, was you. 

But they kept dragging me away. From you. Even as I destroyed their men, led battles, warred on their earth, they still kept following me.

And all the while, when I was just in a hurry to get back to you.

But I lost you once again, Radhe. Oh, I lost you. I could not tread back in the same body. And you and I left this earth again.

I search for you, now in the heavens. Hidden behind stars. Your fragrance, I imagine as I tread new directions. Heaven and hell. On the outside, you. On the inside, my heart. I search, I search, I search.

And I feel again. Pain. Suffering. Joy. Hope.

And I let this world be. Hoping, you'd step in again, some time.

I let this world be. Till, we meet again.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Radhe.. your Krusna is here..

Radha ..I realize now... it is your bhakti that keeps me awake..

What has held me aloft is not the waiting.. but it is the you that I waited for...your tatva.. that I've waited for..

Love keeps you aloft.. and now I await you as ever.. 

My time is up.. for I have to dissolve in you..

The dream no more.. just you...just carry me into you.. until I lose all..

Radhe.. your Krusna is here..

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Radha Swapnam..

Oh! I'm in trance Radhe..

As I dance with you.. and twirl.. I see the colours...those of my dreams... under the shade of your lashes..

I see those colours and I'm in trance..

What is this Radhe? Why does it seem unreal? It is happening and yet.. it seems I'm away.

Do I not trust my happiness? Can I not trust my own? And yet why does your embrace feel dream-like? Why am I so happy... yet, I can't be?

Have you became a dream as such Radhe?

I've awaited this moment for eons now.. the thought of you ..the hope of you... the dream of you..

And yet..

Ah! It is a slumber I need to wake up from. You see I'm trance-d now in my own dream...of you, your wakeful gaze.. under your lashes..

I love you such. And eons I've waited for this moment..but now I've fallen in love with that dream.. that kept me alive for so long..the one that kept me aloft all this while..

So which is it that deserves more Radhe? Which love is better?

Answer me.. Radhe... I await you..

Oh! I'm in trance Radhe..

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Radhe… do you now the meaning of Krishna?

Some say it means someone with a ‘dark skin’. Some say it means 'the attractive one’. Some describe it as the picture of a young boy playing a flute. For some, it is the sound of divine.

Some even say Radhe.. that it means the one who cultivates (Krish) the heart.

But shall I tell you the truth Radhe? I think it means the mad one…
Radha’s Krishna...aah…there is no other truth…is the mad one!

Whatever I have become Radhe.. whatever story I have left… whichever path that I have tread.. however many hearts that I filled… whosoever’s lives I colored… women I have owned…whosoever’s anguish that I have soothed…whichever battles that I have lead.. however many souls.. to whom moksha .. I delivered…the world found me .. in all these deeds…

But I Radhe, find myself, only in my madness, that you evoke.. I so love to own it Radhe. I so love to. 

For there is nothing truer than that that I experience. Nothing more indestructible. Nothing more absolute. Nothing far more mysterious. Nothing...simpler.

I just experience it.

My body speaks of it. My eyes on you…and my body simply starts speaking of it. A sudden pull inside. This heart beats faster…and I step into a certain numbness. And in that loss, there is a joy. In that joy, I find my soul. In my soul, I find you. In you, I find me. In me, I find this world. The universe. In the universe, I see those colours. Those colours, that are but draped in the folds of your clothing. That silk that so mysteriously seems...to drape me, my heart. Those folds, bury me. Oh, how happy I shall be, buried. The earth tastes sweet. Those few difficult breaths…my only life…

This is what happens to me Radhe…every time that I set my eyes on you. Every single time.

Rest is inadequate. Rest in immaterial. The only real…is the silk that drapes you.

Am I more of myself.. or do I lose myself.. then Radhe? I am already lost Radhe. 

For in these few moments, I have lived a hundred lives and died a thousand deaths. I see only mysterious colours and mysterious shapes. I die from your touch, breathe only your sweet scent… I do not know this state…is it life or is it death? I do not know Radhe..

I only know you.. and the ‘mad one’.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

janma-ashthami krushnaa...


a janma
a marana
a jeevita..

why?

aah..but u came to teach us eternity!

a kaidi
a bandi 
a karaagrah..

why?

aah..but u came to teach us mukti!

maakhan
hatheli
chhadi..

kaahe kanha?

arre... maa ka pyaar baantne chale the?

radha
gopika
viyog..

y kanha??.. prem ras u taught us?

a raja
a rajya
a throne..

o krishna... righteous are meant to be throned?

a mayasabha
a mahayudhha 
geeta..

y krushna..? anantati gyanam .. amara tatva  gyanam?

a dwaraka.. 
a devi
yogam..viyogam

y krishna? oh you wanted us to follow?

sandhya..
smriti
samaapti 

oh krishna... ur smile..  shall i bear?

...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Radhe




In you
Radhe
It resides

My divine spark
My praana
My tatva
My aatma

Within you
dissolves
My chintan
My manan
My vicharan

On your body
rests
My shvaasa
My sparsha
My dhyaana

At your temples
Is balanced
My chitta
prasanna
ugra





On your lips
plays
My naama
My prema
My kavya

In your voice
Radhe
My sneha
My bhaava

Deep within your heart
My punya
My purushartha

In your hands
My kriya
pratikriya
nishkriya

At your feet
Radha
My hrudaya
My vyakti
My bhakti

You are.. Radhe
My poorti
My samaapti
..

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Watch me


I am
the celestial dancer

Below me
exists the fire
and all i do is
tab it with my toes
as i dance my eternal dance

But as I tab
unable to escape
it swirls up
And there it creates
its devilish realm
the hell..

i dangle my feet there
and my calves reach too
but the most luring
are my anklets
see them there?
They are the sound
of truth
Truth that can burn you
in that very hell
and in time
lure you
to the purity
up above
I do nothing
I just keep dancing
my fiery tandav

Turn me upside down
to catch a glimpse
of the heaven
as the fire twirls
the gold upward
A throne it builds
to see if i will burn
I sit there
mesmerising it
and then go on
with
my celestial dance

As my feet had dangled
below
I rise above
an arm

fire thinks
a balance to this universe?

Ah fool!
its nothing by my dance..
the balance
is in my smile..

The arm above
is to reach higher up
grow tall
so you can
psstt...steal butter...

Remember
O risen fire...
heaven is as much
as hurdle
as hell

rise above..
there's light
there's lord
for whom
I keep dancing
my bhakt dance..

Ah!
there it simmers then
but upwards now...
and along my spine
it runs..
no more burning
no more seering
more saintly
more godly..

O fire..
u have reached your goal..

while..
i just keep dancing..